Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Unfinished Business

We are closing into the home stretch. Three weeks until the big day. Three weeks until we ride with Lance Armstrong, but more importantly three weeks until we raise the money we need for Cedars and the cause.
It nags on me to have unfinished business. My father always had this long list of things that he needed to do, things that were unfinished and I have always wondered how me managed not to be panicked by its neverending length. I like things to get done and then move projects new ideas.
As you may remember a flat tire left me with my own unfinished business. So my first ride after the holidays needed to settle the score. I left the house headed out west along the Lachine Canal, out to St. Charles, up to Gouin and then along the beautiful area of Ste Genevieve, Senneville, Ste Anne De Bellevue, and then home along the river. 72kms with a break at km 48. It is a wonderful ride and then came home, got dressed and went to work. I was thrilled to have accomplished the ride, but truthfully I was happy to deal with the unfinished business.
Unfortunately, having cancer is a constant state of unfinished business.
I have always promised to tell the truth in my blog and we all know that sometimes the truth is painful. It is exactly 1 year since 4 letters changed my life. 1 year since I was diagnosed with the last cancerous tissue. While discussing the planned surgery the doctor was happy that the 1mm cancer growth was on the exterior edge of the remaining kidney and said " It's in a great place and we have to remove very little of the kidney which gives us room WHEN it comes back". He didn't say IF he said WHEN. It was not his fault, he was probably being completely honest and truthful, but those 4 letters W H E N have been very heavy on my heart for 1 year.
Emotionally it set me way back. It felt like the door to hope had been slammed in my face. I could no longer live under the lighter cloud of IF, I was now covered in the greyness of WHEN.
This last year has been about dealing with this unfinished business. This ride is about adding 4 more letters to that word and changing WHEN to WHENEVER.
Feeling the strength both emotionally and physically to weather another storm...whenever.
It has not been easy, but thankfully my involvement with Cedars has allowed me to look beyond today, tomorrow or even the next 3 weeks. Looking forward to the creation of a modern comprehensive cancer clinic for men, women and children...ready to help and support them ...WHENEVER.
We still have much to do, more money to raise. I really need your support.
Please make the donation at click on riders and then make your donation.
Now is the time to tell your friends, your company, your family about the ride...I need all the help I can get. Thank You.

1 comment:

  1. Sam - I write here too often, and yet you inspire me each time I read what you write. Not IF I read it...WHEN I read it. It goes without saying that all of us don't want WHEN to happen and IF it does, we will be all around you. You are not alone. As you said, you have far too much left unfinished to think about WHEN my friend, far too much.